Old relationship advice is, well, old. As times change, so do relationships and the way things are handled. Yes, some old ideas are good ideas, but new ideas can be just as good too.
This morning a coworker and I were talking over coffee. Both of us still waking up and trying to get a grasp on the day.
After we were done with our coffee and I was about to walk away. He stopped me.
“ You should write a book.” He told me.
I was blown away. “ A book about what?”
“Relationship advice. You have a lot of good views on relationships.”
As I continued to walk to my office, what he said kept buzzing through my head.
“Relationship advice?” I thought to myself, “Me?! This guy must be crazy!”
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
I wasn’t ready to go out and write a book but I could definitely write something. You see, I have never been good with relationships. Not just intimate relationships either. Friendships, family, coworkers; they all seemed to go up in flames at some point.
I’m not good at letting people in. Well, I wasn’t anyways. I had to go through a lot of fires to be where I am today.
Each dead end relationship gave me a different perspective on life. Each fire taught me a different lesson. So here i am, buckets full of water in hand, to try to help anyone out there who is going through the fire.
Forgiving people seems to heal the hole in your heart. Holding a grudge only hurts you. Learn to forgive people, not for them, bit for yourself
It’s not 50/50. Its 80/20.
This is something I learned later on in life. Better late than never.
Sometimes your 20, sometimes you’re 80. If you gotta be 20% for a while that’s ok. As long as your partner is going to be that 80% for you.
Don’t forget that you will have times where you need to pick up the slack and be 80%
It’s not perfect, but social media does not need to know that
I get so sick of seeing people post all of their problems on social media.
Seriously, that isn’t info for the world. You don’t need the justification from peoples comments. Plus, those comments might take over your own thoughts and that’s bad.
When it comes to relationship problems, you need to feel how you feel and not let that be clouded by other ideas. And I’m not saying dont vent. We are only human. It’s good to talk to a close, trusted friend to help through hard times. But that info isn’t for the world.
For more advice on this. Check out this link. (THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP OFF SOCIAL MEDIA)
Speaking of being human, let’s talk about imperfections.
We all have them. We are all flawed in some way.
Don’t waste time nitpicking at every little thing. That will for sure kill any relationship.
If you’re looking for a yellow car, chances are you’ll see one. When you’re looking for imperfections, you can bet your a$$ you will see ALL of them.
There’s a really good chance you’ll notice a flaw in a person you love. Accept it and look past it. And your partner should do the same.
Instead of saying “I’m sorry”, say thank you.
Don’t say “I’m sorry supper didn’t turn out.” Tell them “Thank you for ordering pizza”.
I know how easy it is to fall into apologizing all the time, but this little trick has works wonders.
Not just with my romantic relationship, but all of my relationships.
Instead of telling my friends “I’m sorry I’m late.” I say “Hey, thanks for waiting for me.”
There’s no need to apologize all the time. Mistakes happen.
We are all human, remember?
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
A good way to any ones heart is through their stomach.
We are human and we love food. My favorite way of getting over an argument is to eat together. Also, if you’re feeling cranky and ready to start an argument, make sure you aren’t just hangry.
He needs to be spoiled too
“Aww, I wish he would buy me flowers and do this and that…” bla bla bla.
Truth is, everyone wants to be spoiled. The best way to get spoiled is to be the spoiler.
No, don’t spoil him with the thought “If I do this, he better do that.” cuz that’s bullshit and you are just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Spoil him cuz you know he deserves it. I’m sure he will be appreciative of it.
Don’t forget to love yourself
To love someone else, you must love yourself first. Do things that are good for you. Love yourself enough to stand up for you and what you think is right.
If you can find the strength to love yourself, your love for your partner will be even stronger.
If you are interested in different tips for self-care ideas, read this article.
Don’t present problems, present solutions
This is a very under-rated piece of relationship advice. But it is one of my favorites.
I know you notice things that bother you.
For example: your partner can’t seem to find the dirty laundry hamper, so they put their dirty laundry wherever they please.
Now, I know you want to go up to your partner and give them a piece of your mind.
You’re sick of it!!
I’m here to tell you to sit down and shut up. You know that wont do anything.
Chances are you’ve already brought the problem up multiple times and nothing has changed. Try this instead: think of a solution! Move the laundry hamper somewhere where your partner will use it. Better yet, ask them where they think it should go! Trust me, this trick works wonders
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably sh!*.
Beware of shitty relationships.
They are everywhere and they happen to everyone. Do you dread the idea of going to lunch with someone? Then don’t do it.
When someone cuts you down, belittles you or tries to control you, tell them to GTFO.
If you feel like you have to force yourself to like them, it’s not worth it.
Ok, but don’t get me wrong. You don’t have to completely cut this person out of your life forever, but there is a good chance you need some space.
If you’re to the point of forcing it. Take a step back to put the situation in a different perspective. It may be the thing that saves the whole relationship
Be goofy and weird
Seriously, life’s too short to be so serious all the time. (hahaha, see what i did there.)
In a relationship, you should feel free. 100% undeniably yourself. You need to be able to joke around and laugh and just have fun.
Well, thats all i have for today folks.
Dont forget to subscribe to my news letter.
‘Till next time,
This article is also featured on simple life management.